Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
