He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
