he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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