she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
