i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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