I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
