Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
