just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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