it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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