is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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