You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
porn star boner night. come get it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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