did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize