hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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