No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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