Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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