What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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