On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
