At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
