My hand turned me down
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
