I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize