____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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