Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
