do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
