I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
