We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
