Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
