No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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