did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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