It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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