Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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