I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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