What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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