i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
