just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
