But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
