Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize