I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
worst night to have a conscience
i came on her dog
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
