where does the pee come out of this thing
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
