just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
