that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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