I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
