Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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