where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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