break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
