I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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