So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
