Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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