remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
