you win again, gameday.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
