i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
