so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
