But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
