You made me cry and you don't even care
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
