Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
