dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
