i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just pee around me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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