If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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