There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
