dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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