I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
