Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
