I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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